tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3585072222138619241.post2965289285991007829..comments2023-10-28T06:39:47.093-07:00Comments on Translating Hugo: BOOK I, 'Society Saved' 2: 'Toulon'Adam Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00888722449307436397noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3585072222138619241.post-83485991612231783922012-10-02T01:59:42.110-07:002012-10-02T01:59:42.110-07:003) "Go, fool!"
Not sure "fool&quo...3) "Go, fool!" <br /><br />Not sure "fool" is the best translation for "maudit," since Hugo's highlighting the shame and opprobrium the town is now covered in. Probably best to keep the meaning of cursedness and wretchedness.<br /><br />4) "This cannonball, forged in more stoic<br />Times by our Great Soldier (you deride him!), put<br />Into the gun with his own hands, heroic?<br />You’ve aimed it at your foot!"<br /><br />There's a few problems here which are best explained if I do a loose prose translation of these lines:<br /><br />"In more stoic times, the great soldier, upon whom your shame now rests, put this cannonball into the cannons with his heroic hands; you'll drag it at your ankle!" <br /><br />It's unclear to me whom Hugo is addressing; it could be the city of Toulon itself, or it could be a generic forçat (who is now shaming the memory of the soldiers during the Siege of Toulon), or it could be Napoleon III; depends on what the referent is for the "opprobre" in "sur qui ton opprobre s'assied." I'm leaning towards Toulon, since the stanza begins with an apostrophic address to the city. <br /><br />Anyway, my main point is that the important image here is that of a cannonball that's gone from an honorable instrument of war to a prisoner's ball and chain; it's started out glorious and useful and become shameful and burdensome. The image is a particularly good one because it works on a literal level: cannonballs were used in warfare (presumably during the Siege of Toulon), and they were also used on the forçats as a restraint. (Hugo ignores the fact that the ball as round shot and the ball as restraint aren't actually mutually exclusive, since the bagne absolutely existed during Napoleon's rule; in fact, he ignores this fact throughout the whole poem, but that's okay, since the main purpose is to excoriate Napoleon III.)<br /><br />There are a few other problems: "deride" isn't the right word ("dishonor" would be better"), and I'm not sure why there's a question mark after "heroic." But the biggest problem is in substituting the image of a foot being shot with a cannonball for the one of a ball and chain. ("Traîner" means "drag," not "aim.")<br /><br />Anyway, good job with this...I liked what you did with the other images in this poem. And the effort with the rhyme scheme and meter is admirable; it's a monumental task.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16660915249413215252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3585072222138619241.post-67815368452049868902012-10-02T01:59:03.547-07:002012-10-02T01:59:03.547-07:002) "scarlet shame"
I might be wrong, bu...2) "scarlet shame"<br /><br />I might be wrong, but I think the phrase "pourpre infâme" is supposed to be an ironic contrast, since "pourpre" is the word used to refer to the Tyrian purple of nobility. It can also mean crimson, however, and so describes the color of the bagnards' uniforms. It's hard to keep the pun in English since we don't have a single word that can both mean red and Tyrian purple, but I still think the ironic evocation of a color of prestige needs to be kept to preserve the contradiction in the phrase (nobility mixed with infamy). "Scarlet shame" is less subtle because we already associate scarlet with badges of shame (i.e. the scarlet letter) and so the image loses its piquancy.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16660915249413215252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3585072222138619241.post-88428352012924156002012-10-02T01:58:25.619-07:002012-10-02T01:58:25.619-07:00First off, I want to commend you for your stamina;...First off, I want to commend you for your stamina; this is an incredibly ambitious project, and not something I would dare to do. Translating verse is very difficult, and something I do only under protest; I choose to leave it to the geniuses for whom it appears effortless (e.g. Richard Wilbur). However, since I'm something of a specialist on the topic Hugo is discussing (the Bagne of Toulon), I noticed a few mistakes, mostly details you wouldn't have any reason to know about.<br /><br />1) "They march, present their manacles to the hammer/To bolt the chains fast"<br /><br /> You've misunderstood the nature of the event Hugo is describing (again, not something you could know about without researching the bagne). The chains were permanent; what is happening is not a fastening, but rather a testing, to make sure the convicts have not been tampering with their irons. This happened twice daily—it's the morning ritual Hugo is evoking. I believe you're conflating the line "au marteau présentant leurs manilles" with "À leur chaîne cloués"; although they follow one another, these are two separate thoughts, with no enjambement. "À leur chaîne cloués" has nothing to do with the hammer—"cloués" here just means "pinned," "stuck." Hugo is underscoring the inseparability of the forçat from his chain.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16660915249413215252noreply@blogger.com